Stumbling Toward Ecstasy

I think the men in Egypt may very well be the creepiest on Earth. It's not from pure sleaziness (although that's there); it's more that they seem to have a complete and utter lack of self-awareness. They never seemed to realize how they came off and would continue to say strange, cheesy lines and follow me for several blocks after I'd refuse their advances without any sense of how frightening that could seem.

At a coffeeshop in Cairo
The men never miss an opportunity. The touts do their thing, hassling you to buy an alabaster pyramid or perfume for special gifts or to ride a "FELUCCA FELUCCA FELUCCA, LADY!" I'd politely refuse (la, shukran) and think the matter settled. Instead, a moony look would enter the tout's eyes while he droned, "You are so beautiful. So beautiful. Will you have tea with me? Enjoy some hospitality. Please, you are beautiful like the moon over the Nile." As bizarrely flattering as that would seem the first time—but not the 37th time—I'd try to laugh it off politely and say I'd rather go back to my hotel and rest. Then the stalking would start: "Are you sure? Are you sure? What about after? I am nice man, Egyptian man. I will not hurt you." Generally, just wondering what they had in mind was enough to freak me out.

One felucca tout stalked me for a couple days in Aswan. He'd say "You said no yesterday, so today, today you promised to take a ride with me. We can go to quiet place, we smoke together, I bring tea on felucca, we enjoy." I can't imagine ever saying anything that indicated a promise to ride his felucca, but he was very hard to get away from.

In a way, the advances are amusing because they are just so amateurish. The problem is the unstoppable onslaught of come-ons—it's less amusing when every man on the street, young and old, begs you to talk or asks if you need a second husband, or in one extreme case, asked me to do him "a favor" because he was so lonely with his wife living in a different city. The falafel man will hit on you. Your taxi driver will hit on you. And unfortunately, you are not safe from hopeful advances from your hotel staff, either. When I really wanted to meet and talk to the people, it sometimes became disheartening to think that everyone I met just wanted to have sex with me. Or as one man said to me, "making sexy!"

Watch out for men who touch you inappropriately. I don't mean the kind of overly sleazy touching that we would consider inappropriate in the West. A Muslim man shouldn't even touch your hair or stroke your back or pat your knee if you have just met, or even after a long acquaintance if you make clear that you are not interested. Men count on your ignorance, knowing that the touches will seem innocent to you. I would always call them out on it, and sometimes, the more ridiculous men would try to get angry back, saying, "We are friends now, it's OK!" It's NEVER OK.

Staring is a popular sport throughout the Middle East. But dressing modestly and avoiding eye contact with men on the street will go a long way to ease the pressure from men. I also had the unique experience of being an Asian-American woman traveling alone, which brought me more attention than other travelers might receive. Everyone was at least curious, and sometimes an encounter that started as curiosity led to the lame attempts at flirting.

In Egypt's culture of tourism, the men who hit on Western women are just as persistent and cunning as the men who are only trying to sell something. The stereotype of Western women as loose is created by Hollywood, then reinforced by tourists who really are out to have a sex holiday—it's hard to blame the local men for hoping the rumors are true. These men deal with tourists on a daily basis, so there's always a new target. It's simply a part of traveling in Egypt that women cannot avoid. I would never say that women should feel uncomfortable traveling alone in Egypt, however. I never felt like I was in danger, just occasionally uncomfortable around so many staring men. Keep a sense of humor, and don't let the hassle get to you. There are many positive aspects to Egypt that make it all worthwhile.

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All photos & text © Nancy Chuang 2012